I haven’t posted in a while. Life has been… Busy. Crazy. Boring. No excuse–I know.
I am closing in on 15 months of unemployment. It has been incredibly hard. I’ve learned a lot about myself, but it has been hard. I know I am where I need to be at the moment, but… It’s hard. Did I mention that?
I had a job offer this week. It was a great offer in so many ways. I loved the idea of the job. I loved the location of the job (for the most part!). I was super impressed with both of the people who I interviewed with. I was ready to be done with the stage of my life–this whole unemployment stage. But… It just didn’t fit right. I felt like Cinderella’s ugly step-sister’s as they tried to force their big feet into Cinderella’s glass slipper. The proverbial shoe didn’t fit.
It was hard to say no. It was THISCLOSETOIMPOSSIBLE to say no. But “no” was the only, honest, obedient answer I could give. And it stinks. My whole thought process through the past week or so has been “What does obedience look like in this situation?” I honestly didn’t know. I do know obedience wasn’t me dragging my feet, feeling constantly like I was looking back, and begrudgingly saying yes out of fear rather than confidence in God’s better plan. Obedience is running toward the challenge–much like Phillip in Acts 8. God gave Phillip the command and he ran towards it. He embraced it. He didn’t look back. I didn’t feel like I could do that with this job. My heart wasn’t there, it wasn’t into it, it wasn’t right. To say yes would have been disobedient.
I don’t know what my obedience will look like when I get the clear command but I do know I want to run towards it, embrace it and not look back. Because when the shoe fits you buy it in every color! 😉
*Photo credit: Disney